self love (long post)
before i begin, i just want to say that i'm not your A1 English standard kind of writing, maybe because of my limited vocabulary and partial grammar errors but hopefully you can understand my point and understand where im coming from
i think aiming for perfect English and finding the right words to say can be so tough and probably the reason why i have so many drafts because i just think my writing is not up to standard, but who cares? its me, and this is my little space i had since 2013 and despite taking a really long break from this blog, i constantly still pen my thoughts down, especially during midnight when all the feelings just suddenly rushes in and you just have so much thoughts overflowing in your head. writing just feels so comforting and therapeutic to me and its sorta like an area for me to really connect with my own thoughts and reflect about life
truth be told, this seems like a really bad timing to begin my writing hiatus, i have about 2 weeks more to the start of my first paper for finals....
but the usual me with low self- motivation just decided to take a 'break' by going on Instagram to see whats happening with people's life and i just happen to stumble across this beautiful blogger and her relationship with her boyfriend which i find absolutely beautiful, inspiring, and everything i envision love to be, she is not really a full time blogger or influencer i would say, but her articles are all beautifully written and spark something in you (something i hope to achieve one day) ps shes called irinatyt on instagram, and i think shes beautiful inside out. a few other really inspiring instagram acc who write insanely beautifully as well are @electropopsicles @rainbowsalt @beautaplin @nikita_gill and those complitation accounts that i really liked are @poemsporn @thoughtcatalog @quotedthought
anyway after reading some of her articles, i just got so touched and actually teared up because of her knowledge of love and hence i knew i really wanted to pen down some thoughts that i had about everything, mostly about my perspective of love
i guess ill start off by describing myself which i find terribly hard to do so but ill try....
so im those kind of person that is a sucker for a cliche love drama and movies, maybe a huge hopeless romantic. i go all 'awwww' at random cute scenes of backhugs and kisses whatsoever but im also a really skeptical person when it comes to my own love life...
you see, ive never been in a relationship before, partly because i think i am not ready and mainly because nobody likes me and i like nobody. (HAHAHA seriously tho) i do have a couple of instances where i feel the fluttering feelings of love, but rarely, once when i was p5, another in sec 2 and i guess thats about it. i do have some guys that i used to talk to and dm-ed me on instagram to talk but i just wasn't feeling it.
maybe its my conservative heart but i tend to be very very skeptical of boys who try to approach me. maybe i think too much, but i just find none of them to be what i really wanted and im afraid of getting into a relationship. i think my parents' traditional views of getting a boyfriend really sort of influenced me to be very cautious of boys and i end up thinking way too much or becoming really awkward when im around with boys
but im not in a rush to find a boyfriend, despite most people my age already finding their other half, i think i would like to focus more on myself instead. discovering what makes me feel happy, feel fulfilled and accomplished. and after feeling complete, i hope to find a person that makes me feel even happier when im with him, someone whom i can depend on and really feel comfortable with
...................................................................................................................................................................
in this year, i feel like i really have grown to appreciate myself a little more, just baby steps, but i think it goes a long way in making me feel really good about myself
in the past few months, i had all sorts of negative thoughts about hating myself. to criticizing my own own body, features to my character, how bad of a person i was, how i didnt deserve to be loved.
and through those dark days, i often find myself feeling very hopeless about life and i often question myself 'why am i here?' 'what is my purpose?'. those feelings of unworthiness and despair were thoughts that i hoped none of my loved ones would ever experience, but unfortunately, i know most of us do
but strangely and coincidentally, the youtube videos i have subscribed to begin to speak a lot of truths in life and finding happiness. i find myself so mesmerized and inspired by the way people have gone through adversity and being so brave despite the storm and stepping out of their comfort zone and learning and growing so much through it
some of the videos i have watched though i cant really remember, i really encourage yall to watch some !
about helping the less fortunate:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7dekQaLL4Qg&index=4&list=LLoGSdtkQW5njMY5XrxPS34w&t=0s
about experiencing new things and stepping out of comfort zone:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4uqaXyT91A&index=8&list=LLoGSdtkQW5njMY5XrxPS34w&t=0s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dcXAK9mbq8k&index=22&list=LLoGSdtkQW5njMY5XrxPS34w&t=0s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYPoqAU9XOI&index=86&list=LLoGSdtkQW5njMY5XrxPS34w&t=0s
about fighting against cancer:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s9VpNcwgZJQ&index=10&list=LLoGSdtkQW5njMY5XrxPS34w&t=0s
about reconnecting with our loved ones:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ieAtWSh2i_Q&index=11&list=LLoGSdtkQW5njMY5XrxPS34w&t=0s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBgC5b4TIAk&index=18&list=LLoGSdtkQW5njMY5XrxPS34w&t=0s
about finding happiness:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gTzjt-arWKg&index=17&list=LLoGSdtkQW5njMY5XrxPS34w&t=0s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Ai-yI1sK34&index=38&list=LLoGSdtkQW5njMY5XrxPS34w&t=0s
about fighting through adversity:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jrmGql_vqw&index=21&list=LLoGSdtkQW5njMY5XrxPS34w&t=0s
all these, coupled with other random inspiring articles and videos and some Matthew Hussey vids just made me feel a lot better about life and it made me ponder about my own life.
all this while, i have been so incredibly blessed by possibly the best parents and the most supportive group of friends. sometimes, i feel i am really a spoilt brat, taking people and things for granted. knowing that i will always have someone to depend on and loves me for who i am just feels my heart with immense gratefulness. life really couldnt be kinder to me.
also, working on body positivity, i knew i wanted to become healthier as i was constantly feeling very lifeless and tired. i started to be more conscious of the food i ate and took time out to exercise a few times a week and every time i finished my workout or run, i just felt so good and proud of myself.
gratefulness, healthy lifestyle, inspiring videos coupled with lots of self love and personal assurance just made me feel a lot better. i used to think that i would only feel happy with other people, but i guess i was always capable of achieving self love. it can be a tough journey but i hope everyone do get to really love themselves one way or another and do things that they are passionate about. it really gives u so much more strength and purpose in your life and makes u a generally happier person
no matter what you do, know that you are ultimately in charge of your own happiness and you have to first love yourself in order for others to love you.
so do take time out to pamper yourself and do things that makes u feel happy once in a while, despite all the hectic schedules and responsibilities. you will come to love life so much more and feel this indescribable good vibes radiating inside out.
all the best to everyone still trying to love and appreciate themselves. believe in yourself and your strengths :)
ps do check out the ig accounts i have mentioned, i find it really useful for people who are struggling to find self love
Love,
Wei
i think aiming for perfect English and finding the right words to say can be so tough and probably the reason why i have so many drafts because i just think my writing is not up to standard, but who cares? its me, and this is my little space i had since 2013 and despite taking a really long break from this blog, i constantly still pen my thoughts down, especially during midnight when all the feelings just suddenly rushes in and you just have so much thoughts overflowing in your head. writing just feels so comforting and therapeutic to me and its sorta like an area for me to really connect with my own thoughts and reflect about life
truth be told, this seems like a really bad timing to begin my writing hiatus, i have about 2 weeks more to the start of my first paper for finals....
but the usual me with low self- motivation just decided to take a 'break' by going on Instagram to see whats happening with people's life and i just happen to stumble across this beautiful blogger and her relationship with her boyfriend which i find absolutely beautiful, inspiring, and everything i envision love to be, she is not really a full time blogger or influencer i would say, but her articles are all beautifully written and spark something in you (something i hope to achieve one day) ps shes called irinatyt on instagram, and i think shes beautiful inside out. a few other really inspiring instagram acc who write insanely beautifully as well are @electropopsicles @rainbowsalt @beautaplin @nikita_gill and those complitation accounts that i really liked are @poemsporn @thoughtcatalog @quotedthought
anyway after reading some of her articles, i just got so touched and actually teared up because of her knowledge of love and hence i knew i really wanted to pen down some thoughts that i had about everything, mostly about my perspective of love
i guess ill start off by describing myself which i find terribly hard to do so but ill try....
so im those kind of person that is a sucker for a cliche love drama and movies, maybe a huge hopeless romantic. i go all 'awwww' at random cute scenes of backhugs and kisses whatsoever but im also a really skeptical person when it comes to my own love life...
you see, ive never been in a relationship before, partly because i think i am not ready and mainly because nobody likes me and i like nobody. (HAHAHA seriously tho) i do have a couple of instances where i feel the fluttering feelings of love, but rarely, once when i was p5, another in sec 2 and i guess thats about it. i do have some guys that i used to talk to and dm-ed me on instagram to talk but i just wasn't feeling it.
maybe its my conservative heart but i tend to be very very skeptical of boys who try to approach me. maybe i think too much, but i just find none of them to be what i really wanted and im afraid of getting into a relationship. i think my parents' traditional views of getting a boyfriend really sort of influenced me to be very cautious of boys and i end up thinking way too much or becoming really awkward when im around with boys
but im not in a rush to find a boyfriend, despite most people my age already finding their other half, i think i would like to focus more on myself instead. discovering what makes me feel happy, feel fulfilled and accomplished. and after feeling complete, i hope to find a person that makes me feel even happier when im with him, someone whom i can depend on and really feel comfortable with
...................................................................................................................................................................
in this year, i feel like i really have grown to appreciate myself a little more, just baby steps, but i think it goes a long way in making me feel really good about myself
in the past few months, i had all sorts of negative thoughts about hating myself. to criticizing my own own body, features to my character, how bad of a person i was, how i didnt deserve to be loved.
and through those dark days, i often find myself feeling very hopeless about life and i often question myself 'why am i here?' 'what is my purpose?'. those feelings of unworthiness and despair were thoughts that i hoped none of my loved ones would ever experience, but unfortunately, i know most of us do
but strangely and coincidentally, the youtube videos i have subscribed to begin to speak a lot of truths in life and finding happiness. i find myself so mesmerized and inspired by the way people have gone through adversity and being so brave despite the storm and stepping out of their comfort zone and learning and growing so much through it
some of the videos i have watched though i cant really remember, i really encourage yall to watch some !
about helping the less fortunate:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7dekQaLL4Qg&index=4&list=LLoGSdtkQW5njMY5XrxPS34w&t=0s
about experiencing new things and stepping out of comfort zone:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4uqaXyT91A&index=8&list=LLoGSdtkQW5njMY5XrxPS34w&t=0s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dcXAK9mbq8k&index=22&list=LLoGSdtkQW5njMY5XrxPS34w&t=0s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYPoqAU9XOI&index=86&list=LLoGSdtkQW5njMY5XrxPS34w&t=0s
about fighting against cancer:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s9VpNcwgZJQ&index=10&list=LLoGSdtkQW5njMY5XrxPS34w&t=0s
about reconnecting with our loved ones:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ieAtWSh2i_Q&index=11&list=LLoGSdtkQW5njMY5XrxPS34w&t=0s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBgC5b4TIAk&index=18&list=LLoGSdtkQW5njMY5XrxPS34w&t=0s
about finding happiness:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gTzjt-arWKg&index=17&list=LLoGSdtkQW5njMY5XrxPS34w&t=0s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Ai-yI1sK34&index=38&list=LLoGSdtkQW5njMY5XrxPS34w&t=0s
about fighting through adversity:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jrmGql_vqw&index=21&list=LLoGSdtkQW5njMY5XrxPS34w&t=0s
all these, coupled with other random inspiring articles and videos and some Matthew Hussey vids just made me feel a lot better about life and it made me ponder about my own life.
all this while, i have been so incredibly blessed by possibly the best parents and the most supportive group of friends. sometimes, i feel i am really a spoilt brat, taking people and things for granted. knowing that i will always have someone to depend on and loves me for who i am just feels my heart with immense gratefulness. life really couldnt be kinder to me.
also, working on body positivity, i knew i wanted to become healthier as i was constantly feeling very lifeless and tired. i started to be more conscious of the food i ate and took time out to exercise a few times a week and every time i finished my workout or run, i just felt so good and proud of myself.
gratefulness, healthy lifestyle, inspiring videos coupled with lots of self love and personal assurance just made me feel a lot better. i used to think that i would only feel happy with other people, but i guess i was always capable of achieving self love. it can be a tough journey but i hope everyone do get to really love themselves one way or another and do things that they are passionate about. it really gives u so much more strength and purpose in your life and makes u a generally happier person
no matter what you do, know that you are ultimately in charge of your own happiness and you have to first love yourself in order for others to love you.
so do take time out to pamper yourself and do things that makes u feel happy once in a while, despite all the hectic schedules and responsibilities. you will come to love life so much more and feel this indescribable good vibes radiating inside out.
all the best to everyone still trying to love and appreciate themselves. believe in yourself and your strengths :)
ps do check out the ig accounts i have mentioned, i find it really useful for people who are struggling to find self love
Love,
Wei
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