Cuts and burns

31 August 

Today I once again witness the strength of parternal love. My dad was asking me to look for a disposable needle once he came home and sounded more gentle than usual.

A needle ? Why does he need a needle for? Is it for his faulty iPhone or his worn out clothes? 

It is neither. It is to pop a blister. I was so shocked when I first saw it. It was really big and right on his ring finger. There was another one on the pinky, already popped and very swollen. I thought to myself, he must have burned himself again.

He instructed me to carefully take the needle and pop the side of one of the blisters. 

I don’t know how he even trusts me to do things like these because I don’t even trust myself. Sometimes when there is a wound or bruise, I don’t let anyone else touch or treat it except for myself because I’m scared they will hurt me.

But my Father trusts me with all his heart and just ask me to pop it with no hesitation. I did. Once, twice. I saw the heart wrenching pain from his scrunched up face. I couldn’t bear to look at it.

The liquid from the blisters was slowly leaking out. I couldn’t bear to squeeze it so I just stared at it blankly with a tissue under his fingers to absorb it. He squeezed the blister flat and the same agonising face was seen once again.

He then asked me to take another healing ointment called 青草油. If you don’t know what’s that, that’s a super effective medicated oil to speed up your healing process. But boy, that REALLY hurts. It’s like a thousand needles instantly poking at your wound and a sudden flame igniting at your wound. It is excruciating, no exaggeration.

I pitifully suggested that maybe there is no need to, considering the amount of pain. But my dad insisted for quicker recovery. 短痛不如长痛, it is better to have a shorter pain rather than a long run. 

I heartbreakingly trudged to find the oil. I thought to myself, he must have suffered so much in work. He did this to support his family because he loves us so much. Tears instantly wells up but I was forced to control it to prevent him from seeing my cry. He would have questioned it further and misunderstood.

I came back with the bottle of medicated oil and saw another scarring wound. It seems pretty deep with the pink flesh showing through. My heart aches again. I breathed in, and carefully tap the back of the bottle for the oil to drop on the wound. My aiming was pretty bad because I held the bottle so high up to prevent any contact with the wound.

My dad saw and took the bottle away from me, carefully looking at his own wound and applying the oil to it. This time, it was a super stunned and shocked face. Followed by a ‘woo’, releasing the shock from the pain.

I looked at him and his wounded body, wondering how many scars his body has. Every scar was because of love, because of this family.

Gratitude fills my heart again and I just thought of writing this down to remember how my dad is such a noble, responsible and loving person despite his short tempered nature.

I could go on and on, because there are countless moments like this.

How can I find another man that loves me as much ? 

Truly, the best Father I could ever ask for. Papa, 我爱你